Jack' L. Joseph, Hero: The legendary treasure of Mount Black . . .
Video of Yekaterinburg/Russia/1942 September
(RATATATATATAT) "GR-RR!" shouted a soldier in stress "SON OF GOD!" shouted another soldier (KABOOM!) "Gold? GOLD! GOOD OLD GOLD. (laughs maniacally)"
Jack' L. Joseph: "Sir Restafor (Duke of England) took good care of his treasure. In 1953 he hid it all in Mount Black - Eureka. After that he was killed and never seen again . . ." "Sorry, Cobber, Marco J. Simper here. My Grandad said the body WAS found." "I'm sorry, cos... OK, 'you have any proof he's alive?" asked Jack'
"Yes, sir, here" said Marco "HOLY COW!" (SIGHS) "I'm a afraid that that is not enough. So, 'have any more proof?" asked Jack'. "Here, a photo of his body" said Marco.
"Hm, yeah OK. Well it looks like he's been bitten by something like a . . . pike?" said Jack'. "OK. Well I'm gonna go to my grandma's house, see you(!)" said Marco sweating and and worrying about the creature he could be facing.
Chapter I
What Happens Next?
"Uploading into DARN IT! OK. Yahoo.com . . . Pi- The legendary pike of Mount.Black. Enter (Marco Mumbles)."
"Mike, phone. Cool a Blackberry. OK, OK lets get some sleep for tomorrow. JIM!?" said Jack' "After Harry Hill's TV Burp, COMMON!!! They've not even started!" said Jim.
"Hm, haven't seen that car before . . ." said Jack suspiciously "We 'ave him sire." said Assistant 03
(BUZZING) "Hello." shouted a cop "Yes?" asked Jack' "Well that buzzing sound has irritated a lot of people." said the cop. "Jack'" said Mike "Well I'm very busy" said Jack' still talking to the cop not hearing Mike. "Jack.'" said Mike a little louder. "Look, I gotta go to my friend-" "JACK'!!!, COME AND SEE THE STUPID THING!" shouted Mike really angrily "One second? Thanks." "I found the pike . . . and more." "Let me see . . . oh it's in Swedish. JIM?!" said Jack' "All right, all right. All men should be dead, from the start, wait there's more If thee are a treasure seeker then SOD OFF and BEWAR otherwise I'll eat you dead and with your head I'll play fuzzball through all the way. (and the gold is mine protected by 1000,000000,0000000 eaters!) I thought at least he could spell. I didn't understand any of that crap" said Jim. "HI." said Marco "Marco(!)" said Jack' - "RUN!" "What?" said Jim confused "I'll tell you on the way!" said Jack'.
Chapter II
The Chase
"GO, GO, GO!" shouted Marco "Oh, get out o' there." said Assistant 05. "Eh, but I gotta make a delivery." said a postman. "I said get OUT, you damn postman." said Assistant 05. At the chase "Reverse, reverse, reverse! Oh, SHOOT! Forward, forward, forward, now turn, oh crap, we're now in the roundabout." Mike Tuts "Well I'm getting out of here the way British treasure hunters do it best, MANICALLY! (Jack' Turns Through All The Cars) (People Shout) "Oh, dick-head!" shouted someone. "Nut-brain." shouted someone else. (Assistant 02's Police Car's Alarm Goes Off) (Gun Shoots) "Cos were crossing' red light." said Jack' (Camera Take Pictures Of Them) "There 'e is, sir." said Assistant 04. "All right, I don't wanna worry you, but- that "Marco" guy is JUST behind us - Whoa! Son of lord." Mike says slowly "I feel SICK!" (RATATATAT) "There's a cop. Jump when I say "jump." said Jack' "JUMP!" shouted Jack'.
Jack', Jim and Mike jumped. "Thanks." said Jack',Mike and Jim. Jack says's "Let's go to my mom's it's just there." (Knock, Knock.) "SON, hello, who are these two?" "Uh, Mom, Mike, Mike, Mom. Jim, Mom, Mom, Jim."
"Oh, so these are you alley's." said Barbra "Uh, yeah." "Come, come." said Barbra - "I'll heat up some hot coco." "Hey son, why don't you have a little look at my Sky Vision." said Stephen Queer Hodge
At night time...
"Eh? A secret passage?" said Jack' - "Jim, Mike, come and see." "Eh, but it's 5 minutes past nothing(!)" said Jim who was very VERY tired. "Let's open it up." said Jack' <"All it is is just . . . my mom's . . . old closet ." "Listen, you'll find the treasure. No matter what. Lets get some sleep." said Mike
"Mmmm. Great tea Mrs. Joseph." said Mike "Oh your very welcome Mike." said Barbra --"Now I bought all of you a gift last night. Look outside." "WHOA! Awesome." said Jack', Jim and Mike. "Dice℠! Nice!" said Jim. The three boys were very shocked. So they all hopped inside there new car but first they said goodbye to Barbra. "Here we gooo! Yeee ha!" shouted Jim. "God, thing's so can't get worse." said Mike
Chapter III
BUSTED!
"Oi." "Uh - oh, BUSTED! Quick." said Mike. At another chase "Speak through the microphone to them." said Jim "Treasure hunter to the man, treasure hunter to the man." said Jack'. The cop replied "This is the man, pull over this instant." "No." said Jack' who was thinking 'what the hell?' "Just pull over son, damn it." said the cop Jack' had a plan, or did he? He wasn't alone . . . (BANG!) (OOF!) "NOOOOOOOO!" (Gun Click's) (Gun Click's Again) "OI!" said the cop "My friend has just been killed." said Jack' "Oh, shut up and get in the freakin' car!" said the mean cop."Can you leave my friend behind, please. Stay here with Mike . . . or what was Mike, please Jim?" (Jim Nodded) At the prison...
"Get in the cell." said a guard. While the guard walked off to the head captain of the police office Jack' had company. "Hi." said the mysterious criminal "Hello, sir." replied Jack' just a little bit frightened. "Ah, I'm not American, I'm Jamaican. Live one, die one." replied the mysterious criminal-- "I'm Cobra." "Jack' . . ." on the way to the hospital
"Um, er." murmured Mike. "GOD!, Mike. Thank you taxi bye!" said Jim . While Jack' was sleeping his friends were arriving. "What a depressing and horribly creepy place." -- (Jim Shivers) "Here we are, we'll just need to turn like the SAT NAV says" said Mike. "Turn left. Turn right. Now stop. Preparing to shut down" SAT NAV shuts down . . . like it said it would. Mike and Jim start whistling. While looking through a camera disguised as a beetle they wake up there friend at 01:13:28 in the morning. A couple of minutes later the group had just started "All right 'got your glove?" asked Jim "Yup." replied Jack' who had a bad feeling about what may happen "Put your hand behind--" said Jim "Done!" said Jack' butting in --"Gotcha, 'Kay" later broken out of the cell (Alarm Goes Off) "Cell broke, cell broke, code nº 427, I repeat 427." said a guard "C'mon Cobra" said Jack "AH Shoot!" said the police guard "See you later suckers! HA-HA!" shouted Jack' "OI!" said another guard "Shoot there's my cue, Rock and roll, rocks and rolls! Wee!" shouted Jack' <"GOOOOO!" at the THIRD chase in this story. "Pull over , pull over now. I have 52 soldiers and 15 cops" said a cop "Never!" replied Mike, Mike speeds up so 67 other people did too, god. They managed to get away from 67 people.
(Cameras Take Pictures) "His planes, look. He launched these 1940." "And this is the REAL statue of King Riuepa. (He Snorts)" "Sorry what was his name." said Jim pretending to ask "Erh, King Riuepa." "NO! Co-king Restafor." said Jim "It's him." "RUN!" "Dang, now we have 50 people on my back we'll have to stop.
Chapter IV
TRAPPED
"OK Jack', if you are going I'm coming but you'll have to do it my way, right." said Marco "Fine." replied Jack' -- "But here's the deal, I'll prove Timothy Hill's wasn't bitten by a pike, if I'm wrong you can call the cops to throw me back in my cell and you can get the treasure, be front page and live a perfect life. Deal?" "Deal." answered Marco (THUD) (BOOM) "WOAH!" shouted Marco "Christ." said Assistant 02. "Look a secret passage, come on." said Jack' so all 9 people went inside the secret passage. Later inside the the secret passage "Look, a door, wait there's a code to open it up." noticed Jack' then he looked at his mobile -- "Mike, is there any coal there." "Here, catch." answered Mike throwing the coal "I -- S -- 0 -- 9 -- Y -- U." said Jack' then he pushed a button, so then they went threw the door. "OK, so I'm presuming that you go on this path and then - ARGH!" shouted Jack' -- "OK, one of us have to go over there and hit one of those . . . things." "I'll go first." volunteered Marco. "All right then." said Jack' with his heart beating and pounding and his face covered in sweat. "Done it." "OK, me next" said Jack' -- "Jim?" "Mike, come on." said Jim "It's all right boys, you can come now." shouted Marco "OK, we need 2 people to get a ramp to appear." said Jack' "Got it." said Marco (RUMBLE) "QUICK, 1 - 2 - 3! JUMP! Run run RUN!" shouted Jack' when they got passed the ramp they noticed a small tunnel. So they all went inside the tunnel and then they found the treasure. But no pi- "ARGGGGHH!!!!" shouted Assistant 05 as the pike ate everyone, all that was except Jack' Mike and Jim and then the pike died and broke into ashes bits of gold so they took all the gold that was inside the pike into there bags but Jack' was still questioning where was Timothy, then he saw a golden statue so he opened it up and found the skeleton of Timothy
(Cameras Take Pictures) "So Mr. Joseph, how did you get the treasure?" asked someone from the press "Well, I kinda followed the basics of treasure hunting." answered Jack'. After the press took there pictures and asked there questions Jack' got himself a girlfriend, a house (quite big) and lived a great life in California and so it was it came to --
THE END?
"Eh? Oh goodbye!"
